I Had COVID & Learned So Much.

This blog entry is not a substitute for medical advice. This is my personal experience and information received from my own research. This article is not to suggest that any remedies used will absolutely work for you. For any information on COVID-19, please consult your personal physician.

 

I have been trying to figure out how to talk about this issue for a while. COVID has impacted all of our lives, in so many ways. But perhaps the most troubling thing to me of late is how we are choosing to live with the uncertainty that this disease brings. Yes, we have seen so many people die from it in the past year. It has limited our social interactions and business interactions. Some people are angry at what is, what has been and what could be. For many, hope feels limited. But what is breaking my heart is the level of anger, lack of empathy and divisiveness that has been driven by, what I believe to be, fear based reporting on this topic. 

 

 I know what happens to our...

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Learning Through Discomfort

Discomfort is probably the most challenging thing for us to sit through. I am someone who, typically, curates my life in such a way that I limit my discomfort. I work hard so that I can resource a lot of my personal needs. For instance, I have a housekeeper that comes twice per month, I order my groceries to be delivered, I use Ubereats frequently and feel no guilt and right now I have a personal chef who prepares my meals because my diet is very different from that of my daughter. 

I do not like discomfort! That is, unless it comes to dealing with my emotions. 

I am currently going through what is known in my spiritual tradition as "the year in white." As a newly initiated priest in Lucumi (an African spiritual tradition), I have dedicated the next year of my life to understanding myself more and studying spiritual science. This process builds discipline, helps you to focus on your personal values, as well as provides a unique opportunity for me to immerse...

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Why I'm Mourning DMX

Yesterday I received two texts that summed it up for me. They both said "he was ours..."  and it helped me understand my tears.

As I was sitting in my stylists chair finishing a new braided hairdo, a look on IG confirmed what I didn't want to admit I feared - DMX was dead at the age of 50. We both fell silent as I looked at reputable page after page to seek confirmation. X was dead and internally I battled to discover why I felt so sad.

I did not know DMX personally. He was merely a public figured. He battled substance abuse for most of his life. He lived a life of poor decisions. How could I not think this would happen. You only knew him through his music and interviews. These were my thoughts as I tried to rationalize my grief.

But as I dug deeper I realized that I was mourning DMX because I DID know him personally. Through his public persona, I came to understand the battles of Earl Simmons: the boy who was physically abused by his mother; the teenager that was placed in...

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2020 Changed My Mind

This year many of us were “forced” to do things that we would not have wanted to do. We could not spend as much time with family, our travel was halted, our ability to move was limited. There was even a period of time when we had no clue what was going to happen next. Some of us may say that we’re still in that time. Because truthfully who knows what will happen next? But, in a world that is changing, what are you willing to change?

 

2020 for me has been a milestone year because it reminded me of all the things that I wanted that I have denied myself. It reminded me that I really really value the life of ease. Not easy but ease. And I have not had that simply because of all of the stories I told myself about who I needed to be and what I needed to be doing and what success looks like. 2020 put me to sit the fuck down. And the truth about my life is that God sees fit periodically to sit me the fuck down. It’s because I don’t always listen. I...

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4 Tips To Create Your Best Holiday In 2020

"However, "best" can simply mean what is the best we have for this moment, based on these circumstances." 

As we enter holiday season 2020 there are many people who are dreading this year. The things that we normally do may not be options. A lot of us are far from the people that we love. Some feel stuck and almost all of us feel shamed, in some way, to do what is the "right thing." Deciding what you can do this year feels hard. When we consider what is "best" our mind typically thinks, "greatest of all time." However, "best" can simply mean what is the best we have for this moment, based on these circumstances. This year, these circumstances bring some limitation, but it does not exclude all options. Here are 4 tips to help you create your best plans for this holiday season. 

  1. How you perceive it matters.

Living in a COVID-19 world has been traumatic for all us. What we know (and what you've heard me say over and over) is that trauma impacts the nervous system....

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On The Backs & In The Arms Of Black Women

"While I know many people are framing this experience as one of joy, what I am seeing is a release of anxious energy that is as complicated as the systems that we are asked to function in. "

It’s 4:48am and I can’t sleep anymore this evening. I’ve been up for about an hour thinking about how I am feeling and trying to sort through emotions, so excuse me if this feels a little jumbled. This is on my heart today...

Yesterday felt like a collective sigh of relief for so many. I have to admit that I live in some kind of a bubble. I have moved to suburbia. Social distancing means that I rarely physically interact with people who do not live in my home. I do not engage with the news regularly for extended periods of time and I am so careful about curating my social media that I only see the things that are relevant to my daily experiences. For these reasons, much of the intensity of the world I see through the eyes of my clients and the ladies who are in...

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3 Ways To Deal With Right Now

The world feels like a funny place right now and I don't mean "haha" funny. Maybe weird, ironic, unsettling would feel like better words to use. There seems to be so much "in the air" and for those of us who are used to feeling settled, it can leave us with a swirling head, not knowing what to choose, which way to go our how to even just BE. 

As I listen in all of the spaces I find myself (social media, conversations with friends and colleagues, in sessions with clients) we all seem to feel like we are in perpetual transition. As Black people, we probably feel like we are in transition more often than most. Between the pandemic, reports of a looming economic crisis, righteous civil unrest AND this election, alot of people are feeling anxiety. The type of anxiety that has you feeling like you are at the bottom of a large heap of "stuff" and it is all suffocating you. 

If this is you, here are 3 tips to help you manage what is happening.


Curate 

I know you hear it all...

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The Art of Doing Nothing_July 2020

What’s Popping People!

 

What’s Popping is a love note to my email list! It is my way of letting you know my thoughts on some topics, give you the rundown on where you can see me and let you know about any special offerings I have going on. You will receive this from me once a month. Hit me with an email if you have any questions, thoughts or topics that you would like for me to cover. 

What I'm Loving: 

Brujas of Brooklyn -  40 day Kundalini Sadhana - From June 1st to July 10th, I participated in a daily practice with almost 100 other women. Engaging in a series of kundalini yoga movements geared towards aligning the energy of the solar plexus, I saw shifts in my digestion, mood and awareness. My personal confidence grew, as well as connection to my intuition. If you are interested I suggest you follow them on IG or sign up for their mailing list to get more information. 

RAW Women's Group - In June I...

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5 C's of Coping with COVID (April 2020)

 

 

"If you are wondering if I am going to tell you that you should be doing something different, I am not. You have the right to feel whatever it is you are feeling and finding productive ways to cope with those feelings can be challenging."

It was hard to know how to start this month’s blog. I always try to be a little different, keep you interested, say what I think will support you in your healing for the month. But the truth is, right now I don’t have anything different to say than what you may have read so many other times before. I really hope that this message finds you well - in good health, in good spirits and with the only losses that are replaceable. However, as I speak to my clients and take the proverbial temperature here in NY, what I know to be true is that many of us are going between moments of feeling good or okay and really sad or anxious. We are vacillating between being patrons in...

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Is Your Fear Hurting You Or Helping You? (March 2020)

 

 "Here, I want to teach you something: fear is here to help you, but it can also hurt you."

FEAR! Many people are feeling it right now and there are many people who feel it often. Some people feel a version of fear everyday, if they are engaged in healing they have learned to understand their fears and engage with tools to manage them when they show up. Right now there are many people who are afraid of the COVID-19 aka Corona virus. If you are not concerned about getting ill, you may be concerned about your income, your travel plans or your loved ones. On the other hand, there are those who are too appalled at fear that they rebuke it. The assumption is that by simply ignoring your fears you can get over them and be “okay.” Here, I want to teach you something: fear is here to help you, but it can also hurt you. Learning how to access the benefits of fear while limiting the challenges that it can cause is the key to shifting what alot of us struggle...

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