4 Tips To Create Your Best Holiday In 2020

"However, "best" can simply mean what is the best we have for this moment, based on these circumstances."

As we enter holiday season 2020 there are many people who are dreading this year. The things that we normally do may not be options. A lot of us are far from the people that we love. Some feel stuck and almost all of us feel shamed, in some way, to do what is the "right thing." Deciding what you can do this year feels hard. When we consider what is "best" our mind typically thinks, "greatest of all time." However, "best" can simply mean what is the best we have for this moment, based on these circumstances. This year, these circumstances bring some limitation, but it does not exclude all options. Here are 4 tips to help you create your best plans for this holiday season.

How you perceive it matters.

Living in a COVID-19 world has been traumatic for all us. What we know (and what you've heard me say over and over) is that trauma impacts the nervous system....

On The Backs & In The Arms Of Black Women

"While I know many people are framing this experience as one of joy, what I am seeing is a release of anxious energy that is as complicated as the systems that we are asked to function in. "

It’s 4:48am and I can’t sleep anymore this evening. I’ve been up for about an hour thinking about how I am feeling and trying to sort through emotions, so excuse me if this feels a little jumbled. This is on my heart today...

Yesterday felt like a collective sigh of relief for so many. I have to admit that I live in some kind of a bubble. I have moved to suburbia. Social distancing means that I rarely physically interact with people who do not live in my home. I do not engage with the news regularly for extended periods of time and I am so careful about curating my social media that I only see the things that are relevant to my daily experiences. For these reasons, much of the intensity of the world I see through the eyes of my clients and the ladies who are in...

3 Ways To Deal With Right Now

The world feels like a funny place right now and I don't mean "haha" funny. Maybe weird, ironic, unsettling would feel like better words to use. There seems to be so much "in the air" and for those of us who are used to feeling settled, it can leave us with a swirling head, not knowing what to choose, which way to go our how to even just BE.

As I listen in all of the spaces I find myself (social media, conversations with friends and colleagues, in sessions with clients) we all seem to feel like we are in perpetual transition. As Black people, we probably feel like we are in transition more often than most. Between the pandemic, reports of a looming economic crisis, righteous civil unrest AND this election, alot of people are feeling anxiety. The type of anxiety that has you feeling like you are at the bottom of a large heap of "stuff" and it is all suffocating you.

If this is you, here are 3 tips to help you manage what is happening.

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I know you hear it all...

The Art of Doing Nothing_July 2020

What’s Popping People!

What’s Popping is a love note to my email list! It is my way of letting you know my thoughts on some topics, give you the rundown on where you can see me and let you know about any special offerings I have going on. You will receive this from me once a month. Hit me with an email if you have any questions, thoughts or topics that you would like for me to cover.

What I'm Loving:

Brujas of Brooklyn - 40 day Kundalini Sadhana - From June 1st to July 10th, I participated in a daily practice with almost 100 other women. Engaging in a series of kundalini yoga movements geared towards aligning the energy of the solar plexus, I saw shifts in my digestion, mood and awareness. My personal confidence grew, as well as connection to my intuition. If you are interested I suggest you follow them on IG or sign up for their mailing list to get more information.

RAW Women's Group - In June I...

5 C's of Coping with COVID (April 2020)

"If you are wondering if I am going to tell you that you should be doing something different, I am not. You have the right to feel whatever it is you are feeling and finding productive ways to cope with those feelings can be challenging."

It was hard to know how to start this month’s blog. I always try to be a little different, keep you interested, say what I think will support you in your healing for the month. But the truth is, right now I don’t have anything different to say than what you may have read so many other times before. I really hope that this message finds you well - in good health, in good spirits and with the only losses that are replaceable. However, as I speak to my clients and take the proverbial temperature here in NY, what I know to be true is that many of us are going between moments of feeling good or okay and really sad or anxious. We are vacillating between being patrons in...

Is Your Fear Hurting You Or Helping You? (March 2020)

"Here, I want to teach you something: fear is here to help you, but it can also hurt you."

FEAR! Many people are feeling it right now and there are many people who feel it often. Some people feel a version of fear everyday, if they are engaged in healing they have learned to understand their fears and engage with tools to manage them when they show up. Right now there are many people who are afraid of the COVID-19 aka Corona virus. If you are not concerned about getting ill, you may be concerned about your income, your travel plans or your loved ones. On the other hand, there are those who are too appalled at fear that they rebuke it. The assumption is that by simply ignoring your fears you can get over them and be “okay.” Here, I want to teach you something: fear is here to help you, but it can also hurt you. Learning how to access the benefits of fear while limiting the challenges that it can cause is the key to shifting what alot of us struggle...

Re-imagining Roles (February 2020)

"When you begin to define yourself without the lenses of trauma, there will be a reinventing of either your whole self or parts of the self. This is necessary."

A vital part of our healing process is understanding yourself. Who am I? What happened to help me become this way? What are the things that I like; What are the things I don't? What are the things that I want to change? What things am I choosing to stay the same? All of these questions come into your mind during your journey and the answers come as you do the work of healing.

When you begin to define yourself without the lenses of trauma, there will be a reinventing of either your whole self or parts of the self. This is necessary. You begin the work of understanding why you make the choices that you make and, hopefully, identify the origins of your behaviors so that you can make different choices. These questions and shifts you are making...

What I am loving, What I am doing (January 2020)

What I'm Loving.

Reading:
Non Fiction: My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem. In this book Menakem talks about the impact of racial trauma on the body and brain of all groups impacted. Complete with exercises to support all of us in becoming more connected to our bodies, this book supports the healing of people of color from the impact of racial trauma, while also explaining the impact of the racism on white people and police.

Fiction: Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi. What happens when you find your God-given powers? What happens when your powers make others afraid and they demonize you? This is the story of courage, family and the faith to create change born of a vision and with commitment.

Doing:
Indigenous Mental Health Awareness Network International (IMHANI) - Intro to Indigenous Holistic Health Practices in Bronx, NY January 19th,...

Planning for 2020? Don't Be Afraid of Your Shadow (December 2019)

It's December 2019 and most of us are in full planning mode. In addition to planning for our holiday, we often find ourselves thinking about this past year. Maybe you have fond memories of great experiences. Maybe you are in awe of all the goals you set and smashed. Perhaps you are establishing goals for 2020 or, like most people, thinking about what you could have done differently in 2019.

Studies show that only 8 percent of the population achieve their new year resolutions. Furthermore, additional research suggests that fewer than 3 percent of the population set goals regularly. There are many articles that give concrete tips on ways to set, be consistent with and achieve goals. However, I firmly believe that most of us miss 1 thing when thinking about what we want to do and how we want to do it: our shadow.

"Our goals are lofty, play up to our greatest perceptions of who we want to be and negate those...

5 Ways To Take Care Of Your Inner Child This Holiday Season (November 2019)

The holiday season brings up emotions for many of us. For some, those emotions are linked to fond memories of time spent with family. Maybe you think of food, gifts or the quality time. Maybe the holidays make you smile with excitement. For others, the holiday season feels dreadful. You are not looking forward to it, you do not have fond memories and your only excitement is the thought of it being over. No matter which reaction you have, this time of the year likely brings out your inner child and depending on what your childhood was like, you may need to take extra care of yourself in the next few months.

Your inner child is the child-like part of you. The vulnerable, innocent part of you that has visceral, automatic, reactions to things that you can’t explain. It is the part of you that requires extra care and consideration. For those of us that have traumatic experiences, our inner child can be a part of us that responds to hurt. It is the part of us...

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What’s Popping People!

"Here, I want to teach you something: fear is here to help you, but it can also hurt you."

Two Step