For the past few months I have heard a message loud and clear that was repeated to me this weekend. I need to introduce you to the fullness of who I am.
I'm writing this from Cuba. Sitting on a rooftop in Havana at the close of a 3 day trip to complete some spiritual work.
In this moment I'm reminded of how far my life has come. I'm reminded of all the things that I wanted that I've worked hard for and all the blessings I've received. This journey has not been easy, but I'm grateful for the discomfort that I pushed through to be here…both figuratively and literally.
For the past few months I have heard a message loud and clear that was repeated to me this weekend. I need to introduce you to the fullness of who I am. I've told you about the therapist. I've let you in on the clinical understanding and knowledge that I've spent the last two decades accumulating. However, I've been nervous to fully let you see who I am and why my work is so different. For those of you who have trusted me to support you on your healing journey this will not come as a surprise, but for others I think a part of me has been worried about what you would think. How can I explain something when I don't have the right words? What does it mean to infuse spirituality into this clinical work? What does it mean to be intuitive? What does it mean to work with people who acknowledge Spirit in all the ways it shows up? How does that truth help with your healing?
I've spent 44 years being me…but I'm only now fully embracing her.
I've asked myself these questions over and over again over the past few years to try and give what I do, even who I am, full context. I really wanted it to be as salient and clear as it is for you when I say I'm a therapist. However, the truth is that this…isn't that. There is no "right" language, because Spirit and the way it shows up defies language, defies reason, it defies the logic that I lean on as a safe space.
I've spent 44 years being me…but I'm only now fully embracing her. There's been so much undoing from my own trauma and pain that I only really began to see myself a few years ago. And, truth be told, I peel away more cobwebs every day. With every embrace of my spiritual gifts, with my initiation into priesthood, with every new ceremony and spiritual lesson, with every heartbreak I learn more. I release more. I welcome new versions and aspects of me.
In my academic and professional training I've been taught how to be the expert. How to be the one who has all the answers and how to project that to others. How to help people see themselves through a western lense by centering myself and my knowledge. This emerging version of me recognizes just how limiting this perspective is. The truth is, you are the expert on you. But you just don't know how to hear yourself or give yourself permission to acknowledge all that you are. YOU are the expert and my role is merely to guide you home to you.
I'm simply learning how to be an empty vessel to fully allow myself to do the work that I'm led to do...
I could throw jargon at you that is spiritual and clinical, because we live in a world that likes neat boxes. But I won't. I will simply tell you that I hear you with my ears and my heart, so that I may be able to reflect to you all that you want to say that your pain holds hostage behind your tongue and hides from your vision. When you can't see you, I can. When you can't hear you, I can. When you won't speak what you need, I can tell you what I hear. The human in me feels nervous to say, I can't explain to you how I do it. I can't train anyone else to do it. I'm simply learning how to be an empty vessel to fully allow myself to do the work that I'm led to do, with the people whose souls understand what I'm talking about, in all the ways I'm learning this is possible.
If you've been following me a while you may wonder what this changes and the answer is - transparency. I've always been who I am, I'll just be speaking more plainly about what I'm learning, bringing you along on the journey where I can, and bringing you service offerings that align.
So…with the mask off I introduce myself as Oñi Soi. This is my spiritual name which means sweet reflection of Oshun in the river. I am a priest of Oshun, intuitive wellness guide, clinical therapist, spiritual mother, forever learner. I am a heart centered practitioner, here to support you on finding your way back to you and choosing the life you are purposed for.