Your Most Authentic Self

Healing is about learning your most authentic self. Although many people seek guidance from a therapist/coach/healer because they are in a place of discomfort or pain, I believe that the pain point is something inside of you pushing you out of your comfort zone to reach the place you are proposed to be.

Many of us “learn” how to show up in the world. We are given external consequences (rewards or punishments) for the things that we do or say. These consequences either expand our behaviors or they limit them. We then create meaning and internal stories about who we need to be and extrapolate that to future situations. When the consequences have been painful, our thinking about who we are and the options that we have in life can feel very limiting. It can feel like you are in a box and like your life is so small. For many, it can feel like pain is really all that there is. Whether the pain exists because you will never be fulfilled or it exists because you experience hurtful consequences, it can feel like you are only left with pain. 

Here’s the thing though, we ONLY look at the outcome, we do not investigate our thoughts and behaviors that got us here. 

You are divinely and uniquely made. That means that how you came to be is not only specific to you, but when pain shifts your way of being you will be out of alignment with your divine path. This is a part of why it is essential to always be in a place of openness when it comes to investigating yourself. 

Too many times we live life on autopilot, simply acting and not feeling or understanding why we are making the choices we are making. Without investigating the why, you will never understand if your behaviors are driven by your pain or desires. Are you doing what you want to do or are you simply doing things to avoid negative consequences? Are you moving, manifesting a vision for your life that lives in your spirit or are you playing out the stories that came with your trauma.

Here are 4 ways that will support you in finding your most authentic self:

1. Introspective Meditation: Quiet the mind and calm the body and to ask yourself a question and notice the answer that the body provides. Sometimes that answer is in the form of words, sometimes it comes in the form of a feeling. Whatever the first thing that happens, pay attention to it and just continue to relax and let the answers come.

2.  Free Association Journaling: Choose a word, an idea or a situation and just start writing about how you feel and then see what comes next. Do not think too much about this, just write.

3. Notice Yourself: Spend some time noticing what you do, what things feel like and recognize how you react to things. Feel free to make notes, without the judgment of something being bad or good. Just notice and understand the feelings that come up in your body about these behaviors.

4. Inquire: This technique works well in conjunction with #3. After you notice yourself, wonder what other options you have. What are some other things you can do besides the things you have been doing? What feelings come up when you think about these options?

Using these techniques will help you get to know yourself better and put you on the right path to discovering what you want, which will align with your most authentic self.